So May 18 [which is the day before my mom’s birthday] we checked in at The Manila Peninsula. So basically, we were there to relax and all especially since it’s super hot and the hotel is airconditioned 24/7. Lolol kidding! We didnt go there just for that. :)

We did a lot of things there just to feel relaxed. I studied a bit tho for my finals on monday. I cant say no to my mom she told me to. I was fine with it tho because as I was studying at the lobby, there were people playing instruments there and it was amazing.

One time while I was studying the instrumentalist stopped playing then they started playing the wedding march. I got off my chair and saw a newly wed couple come in from the entrance and everyone was clapping. It was such an amazing experience and I seriously want that.

But, the best experience of the whole trip was when we had out dinner buffet at Escolta, a restaurant at the hotel. The servers were sweet. The food was great. I bet I ate too much. Cause there was a point that I felt like vomiting so I left to go to the washroom. But I gagged a bit and some went to my mouth but I didnt know where the washroom was so I asked the official where it was through sign language. I think he thought I was deaf cause he led me to where it was so I did the sign for thank you. It was really funny. Thank God I knew a little bit. 

But the ultimate best experience was the fact that we couldnt hide our surprise to mom. Like it’s so hard to explain but I swear it was funny. Like she would walk at the wrong time and see the cake then the dudes would run back hiding. I swear it was hilarious!

Btw these are totally random so if some of them seem shallow [and most probably they will be] blame my random mind. And I’ll be constantly updating this like add stuff or scratch things off [if possible huhu].

• Perfect the art of folding paper into a rose.
• Dye hair [successfully] at least once.
• Jog around somewhere.
• Bunjee Jump.
• Go to EK with SMACM.
• Go to EK with my batchmates in UP.
• Ride rollercoaster with them and record reaction.
• Play Safe and Sound on the guitar perfectly.
• Play I Cant Make You Love Me on the piano while singing it.
• Lose so much weight I could fit in skinny things.
• Hear someone say You have an interesting way of thinking without implying it or anything.
• Watch a Saw Marathon
• Avoid invitations to watch a Saw marathon since I get nightmares.
• Sneak out to meet a friend.
• Go to Coachella.
• Go to Las Vegas with my buddy when I turn 21.
• Go to London and learn the accent.
• Revive my disposable film camera.
• Get an ice cream from some random kid saying that someone is giving it to me like in this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLIZlg2WiEE 0:16-0:23
• Go a day without saying a single word [I’m a talkative person ok?]
• Stay in a 5-star [or higher] hotel.
• Fly first class to anywhere.
• Go to Hollywood and walk the red carpet.
• Win an Oscar.
• Win a Grammy.
• Be the voice of some animated character in a film.
• Donate hair to locks of love.
• Work in the UN.
• Watch a Broadway play.
• Be in a Broadway play.
• Adopt a pet.
• Have a giraffe.
• A lion/jaguar/something.
• Have a pet parrot the talks and walks around the house and thinks it’s a dog.
• Have my first kiss.
• Have someone talk to me in some public transportation but is not some kidnapper/robber/rapist
• Have an interesting conversation with a complete stranger
• Visit my SMACM bbys in their respective campuses
• Have someone surprise me on my birthday or whatever. Actually, whenever. I just want to have someone give me a surprise party or something like it.
• Learn how to smoke rings.
• Stop smoking.
• Have someone walk up to me and sing an awesome song.
• Have/rent/borrow a white horse and put a horn on it then take a picture and I’ll be like Look! I’m riding a unicorn!
• Go to school drunk or with a hangover and survive.
• Spray Paint on some wall and not get caught.
• Go cliff-diving.
• Drive from the city to some province then back.
• Get super drunk that I’d pass out.
• Ride the MRT then get off at the other end.
• Try Shisha.
• Go sky diving.
• Skinny dipping.
• Roll down a hill.
• Experience watching something from a drive in movie thing
• Make a fort in the living room.
• Live in a treehouse.
• Do a genius prank on someone.
• When I get my first paycheck I will buy my sister a book and write a message on the first page.

The emotions aren’t as strong and fresh now since these most likely happened ages ago. But for memory sake.

• During the Christmas break, I asked him to buy me stuff from his place. I said I’ll pay for it. Then one time he called me asking if I still wanted them and I said ok. First day of school after the break I went with him to his dorm to get the stuff. We were also with Janina. On the way there I was talking about these books I’ve read in 2 days. One about a girl who dies and another about suicide. He said Wow. So inspiring. as a joke but whatever. He gave me the stuff and I tell you it was A LOT then he dropped us off to the shed. 
• I remembered we went to the library to talk about physics but we ended up talking about random things for an hour. We almost talked about my past and you told me that we didn’t have to talk about it if I didn’t want to. You went up with me to tambayan and only when I left did you go back to your dorm. 
• You dont usually hang out with us at the tambayan but you did join me one time. You even joined the competition thing. We watched you for a while and we noticed you’ve been getting point after point. We left early then we heard you won. They teased me saying that I was your inspiration. They’re funny. 
• You were supposed to teach me again this time for math but instead we had a spontaneous food trip around campus. My parents were there and I was going to be dropped off somewhere. You asked to be dropped off first. That was funny. 
• We were both invited to a friend’s debut. You didn’t have a gift and I agreed on helping you get one for her. So you and I went to the nearest mall and took hours looking for a dress/shirt/anything she’d probably like. We got some ice cream after then we went to go bowling for a friend. We watched our friends eat then we went to you dorm to dress up. You begged me to take a shower but I didnt let you because I wouldnt get a chance. You didnt. Then you said I looked like a radish with my dress after our friend said I looked really pretty. At the venue, you played with my phone and totally sucked. Haha! kidding! My friend said I looked like a tree. I think I looked annoyed cause you put your arm around me and started shaking me or something. You were part of the 18 whatevs and we looked for something you’d joke about. That day was amazing actually. 
• I remembered that moment when you asked me if I was going to this party then I said maybe or maybe not then the night before the party I said that I was allowed to go. I remember we tried so hard to get you a ride and a place to stay just so you go but we couldnt. I felt bad you werent there then my friend said she saw you tweet that you wanted to go. That was cool. 
• That one time we didnt have math and but I needed to meet a friend after like an hour or something. 2 of our friends needed to go but I needed to stay. You stayed with me until my friend came. We ate at CMC. We talked about random things like that snake outside your house one time or the fact you always called your dogs Lassie. You walked me to where I was supposed to meet my friend and you even stayed until I had someone to be with.
• I remembered that time I rode a friend’s car and you rode in it too. Then we a friend and I got off you did too. You treated us to snacks and idk I liked your company.
• This sounds so high school girl but I swear I saw you looking my way durin class one time. Haha! 
• That time during panel, you stayed until the end even when you could’ve went back to dorm anyways. 
• That time when you were going to school then you texted me early in the morning while I was asleep asking about our exam later that day. When I was at the building I was with my friend and she told me she saw you looking at me and I didnt know what to feel.
• After Chem exam, instead of eating with your friend you decided to eat with us instead when I invited you. They asked us to sing together and they even took a video.
• That time I had to go to my high school for this event. I left immediately after class. I went down and I saw you waiting with the rest of the group and you were looking at the direction of my room. I wanted to say I needed to go early but my friend was there so I had to go. A friend texted me asking me where I went and I told her then she said you were looking for me. I didnt believe it then because I thought she was messing with my but then my other friend told me the same thing so it must be true. 
• Your birthday was prolly one of the most memorable thing that has happened. That whole day, well almost. Like that morning after my exam when you texted me. I know it was about acads but still you texted me. I greeted you happy birthday and good luck for your exam then and you wished me luck for my speech. After math we were dismissed early and you said you’d walk me to wherever I needed to go because you knew I’ll hafta to wait until it was 6pm for my event. I wanted to get a drink so you walked with me to get a shake. You offered to pay for the both of us cause you said it was your birthday but I said I’d pay for it cause it was your birthday. I won. I asked if you will be there to support me but you said your high school friends arranged this party for you so instead you agreed to stay with me until the party. You and I went to the tambayan. People greeted you and we got to talk to some applicants. A friend asked if you and I were on a date and we both said no. I found it a bit awkward after and I know you felt awks too. We went to that meeting then after you asked me what the other meeting was. I told you it was College Prom then you asked me if I wanted to go. I said Idk

Ever since I could remember, I’ve always wanted to go to the University of the Philippines (UP). I wanted to be an engineer like my grandfather. I wanted to go to the alma mater of my parents. I wanted to go to a school of prestige. I knew that I would do everything in my power to get into the university even if I would have to cheat my way in - luckily, I didn’t have to.

Everyone thought engineering was fitting for me. Which one? Idk. I really just thought Hey! I think I should go be an engineer like my grandfather! If he can do it, I can too! People agreed that I could do it. They would push me towards the idea that I would be an engineer. It showed in a way. I did well in my math classes and I was consistently in the advance math and science classes in my whole stay in high school. I would pass my classes with little or no effort at all but if I do make an effort the result is amazing! But I’ve always been lax because I realized that if I work on this project this way, I would have the same score with someone who has created a greater amount of effort. So, in a way, I made it an idea that I could do things perfectly fine without having to stress out about it.

Since I didn’t feel stressed at all, I thought maybe I should try to make things more challenging and join the choir? My choir experience was my defining moment then. It was something different definitely and there were a lot of challenges in the way and I actually discovered how making an effort really helps. But still, the effort wasn’t exactly great because I still in a way excelled in it. I had an amazing performance during my last two years in high school. Joining choir competitions and placing then making songs for school performances and actually performing then on stage while maintaining a superior mark in my academics. So yes, you could say that I was somehow lazy because I thought things were easy. I thought things would just come to me because I thought I had an amazing gift no one else would have. I thought I was the best at singing. I thought - well not really the best but - I was pretty good at my math classes making me worthy of being an engineer. And yes, you could somehow say I was pretty cocky but for sure I wanted people to know that I’m not.

Another defining moment of mine was when I accepted in all the universities I applied in including UP. Getting accepted in one university was one thing but getting accepted in all campuses would get them talking. I didn’t want to say that I expected it but somehow I wanted it. Getting accepted in UP meant the world to me but then there was the “Dream school or dream course” problem. Honestly, it really got me thinking but I ended up staying with the university I’ve always wanted.

Before even being officially an Iskolar ng Bayan, I have discovered this thing called Organizations. It is defined differently from where I came from but no matter, I didn’t exactly see that point of it then. I just thought that they were helping me through my process and I might as well be thankful people are there to help me especially since I’ve been in the same school for 13 years I dont exactly know what to do in a new school. I met new people, made new friends and learned a couple things in the process. I was thinking this isn’t as hard as I thought it would be and I would be fine. I spoke too soon.

I had the freedom to take any class I wanted at any time slot if available. I loved the freedom. That was what I wanted actually. And I thought that UP would be the one to give me the freedom that I’ve always wanted. I was right. I did have the freedom. I got my classes and my schedule. My parents let me commute to school [and that definitely was an experience] but most importantly, I had Janina to be with my everyday of my life that 1st semester. Can you imagine? We got the partial block but she and I are classmates in EVERYTHING. Not even the full block people has that chance to be classmates with everyone.I was so thankful that I had her as my companion as I go through that overwhelming 1st semester.

There were a lot of bumps on the way. Some highs and some lows. I lost friends and gained more. But I definitely learned a couple of things in this first year of mine.

1. I learned that I’m not as good as I think I am and even if I am good someone would definitely be better than me - I cant always be on top. 
2. I discovered the Science High School kids who were supposed to be geniuses in the classes that I too were to take. [Honestly, in a school that only accepts the best, I felt really stupid]. They really intimidated me and honestly, I blamed them for my inabilities. The way they pick up things real quickly, I had to work double time and I didn’t like the idea of being pulled back. But you know some of them are actually really good friends of mine. They like the things I like. They do the things I do. They aren’t robots after all but I didn’t mean that in an offensive way believe me.
3. I learned that there are different kinds of people everywhere. I mean it is a given that the world has a variety of people and I have accepted that before. But, in this university, I learned how to truly accept these people. I very much appreciate the variety of people that I consider as friends. They bring color to my life no matter how cliche it sounds.
4. Knowing about these different people, I realized how old I actually am. My batchmates are most likely younger than me if not of the same age or slightly older. That made me feel really insecure of myself and I thought to myself that I wasn’t exactly good enough. But they made me realize that indeed age doesn’t matter when it comes to success. It is the effort you make and the experiences you have.
5. I learned that you could make friends everywhere! Well, for me that is since apparently I’m a very friendly and outgoing person. I have the most interesting friends and I have had so many wonderful experiences with them throughout the year. I joined an org. They helped me through my 1st year. I made friends from people in my org. In my classes. I’ve riden in people’s cars. I’ve had the most interesting conversations with people. Some of my friends saw me at my best and  at my worst. I love my high school friends honestly. They still truly are my friends forever. The people I would always tell my stories of this or what not and I know they wouldn’t judge me but if they do it’s for the better but I would definitely have to say my college friends have given me so many things to remember. Our little moments together no matter how spontaneous it is and it usually is spontaneous. They’re all wondering which brings me to my next number.
6. I learned to appreciate the little things. Like what I said earlier, I’ve met a variety of people. Some making me feel like I lack things and making me insecure of myself but some making see the beauty this life brings. I have been enlightened in so many ways. My eyes have been opened to different opportunities and some even opened my eyes to things I never thought I would be good at. Also, during my travels, I learned the true value of money. I learned the value of time. I learned that for some people this may not be much but for others it’s worth everything. Me being a commuter has made me stronger in so many ways, it is as if college life is just a side knowledge of what I actually learn as a commuter. Because, as I commute, I actually see the reality of life unfold before me.
7. I discovered boys. Yea I know sorry but I really have to bring this up. Being in an all-girl school for 13 years and not exactly being the social being that I am supposed to be, I have never really got to meet guys in my age range that are not my relatives or are not the kids of my parents’ friends. The university accepts boys and girls so imagine how awkward I would be since I have NO IDEA how to interact with them then. Honestly, this was my number one problem. This interaction thing was making me crazy which goes to the next thing I learned/my next experience.
8. Feelings suck. HAHA! Kidding! Well, I’ve encountered a number of boys, even more than my whole 13 years in high school. I’ve realized that there were some guys that were likable. Some really disgusting. Some pretty amusing. Some very likable if you get me. Here are some guys that I actually liked this year. Guy One: During the first sem I actually liked this guy. I blogged about him one time or two. He was my classmate in one of my classes and I swear to you back then I thought that I was in love with. Oh wow how I was wrong. Thinking about it now makes me think. What the heck was I thinking? But it was honestly a fun experience. You know the feeling that since he was technically my first guy crush, all these emotions are so new to me like I cant exactly decipher what I was feeling. You should know that I did like him but prolly not as much as I thought so then. I actually got turned off by him. Why exactly? Honestly, I dont know. I just did. Like I just suddenly stopped liking him. Maybe because I started liking Guy Two: He’s Mr. Cool. People like him and I know a lot believe me. He’s somehow a bad boy if you could say so. I know him because he and I applied for the same org and also we have one class together but he doesn’t exactly attend the class since attendance is optional. We would hang out whenever there would be those events. He got me to start doing things I probably would know I’d be doing. Do I blame him for making me do them? Somehow yes but I dont put the blame on him completely since I allowed myself to but I guess it’s nice to associate something with him so I could remember him somehow even though it’s somehow bad? Haha! Guy Three: A lot of people likes this guy. He’s not exactly the most appealing of them all but he is very charming and witty. I didn’t get why girls liked him so much. He was in my class but I never really noticed him. Until I really met him at this one party. We were both supporting our friend’s event. That night we were properly introduced and that’s how we somehow got close in a way. I guess you could say that was the night I liked him. I didn’t exactly have close encounters with him after that since the sem was about to end then. The most significant moment I had with him was when I went to a friend’s debut and he too was her friend. We talked that night, he was tipsy/drunk but whatever. He talked about his complicated relationship with this girl while I talked about my almost relationship with someone. Then he told me You are the coolest girl I’ve ever met. I dont know if he meant them in any way but those words still stuck with me because that was probably one of the most flattering thing anyone has ever said to me. I still sort of like him but I guess I know things wouldn’t really work out and finally here’s Guy Four: This guy was probably the most unexpected one. I shall create a separate post of my encounters with him but actually I have blogged about him before if you want to backtrack. This one is the most unexpected one of all and probably the most emotional I have ever been. It’s like I cant exactly explain what’s going on. I dont know what he thinks and actually of all the guys I’ve listed down this is the guy who probably means the most to me. Maybe because I’m currently liking him and that when you’re emotional you could tend to be very biased but still. Idk. My experiences with him seem surreal but legit. I actually felt hopeful with him. He actually made me feel special but again it may just be biased. Enough with the boys and on with the more important things. Haha!
9. The one thing I learned so far this first year of mine is that: To fail is normal and that you’d have to accept and act accordingly. I have never failed when I was in high school. I never had a failing mark on my card. I never made an effort then but I expected a good result anyways. College made me learn the true meaning of learning from your mistakes and it wasn’t exactly pretty. Here I realized that not putting your everything into something would not bring you anywhere at all despite all intentions. I encountered some troubles 1st sem but passed anyways literally on that mark of passing and still had a laude standing. 2nd sem was an entirely different thing. This was a semester filled with so many emotions. I cried a lot. I got depressed a lot. But I was the happiest this sem and probably the most free. But still, this was when I truly felt the culture shock. I failed my 1st exam in Chem and I learned that even tho they said the class was relatively easy you still had to make an effort. I practiced long and hard for the the next 2 long exams and passed them. Because of my failure in the 1st long exam, I had to take finals. I regret really for not passing at the very least during that exam but what’s done is done and at least I learned from there to work hard no matter what for something. But that’s nothing compared to my Physics 71 and Math 53 experience. I failed all 3 long exams for Physics 71. At first it was because of my lack of practice. I didnt know what to expect. I didnt exactly know what was going on and honestly, I didnt know what I was doing. 2nd long exam I took long nights but still nothing. Same with the 3rd exam. It was depressing knowing that I put so much effort into trying to do achieve something but not get it. Maybe it’s because I didnt learn it right. Maybe I was doing something wrong. I needed a specific grade in my finals to actually pass the class. This time I really practiced. I took the time to study everything and the result? I passed the finals! An unexpected thing for sure. It wasnt enough for a passing mark but I was just thankful that I passed. At least I knew that I did something right for a change. I got a 4 that time. But when I checked the percentage it was close enough but not quite for a 3. It turns out my professor missed out on a grade in my list. Because of that my percentage was higher and it was good enough for a 3 so I passed. Very thankful for that. Finally, Math 53. Same thing. I failed some exams. I passed some. But this was really hard for me because it was completely different from what I’ve learned before. Something entirely different. I had to start from scratch with this one and honestly, I didnt know how. I got a 4 in Math 53 and I just took the removals exam earlier. I practiced long and hard for this one because I know I get it but I just dont understand why I lose it once I’m there. You could say I’m really nervous. I was really. Now, I’m just hopeful because I know I did my best with this one. I worked so hard but if I dont get this. Then I guess I’ll have to work harder then. But you could say that this is probably one of the most important things that I have learned: If you want something, you’ll have to work hard for it. And when they said work hard, heck they meant it. 

Freshie year was definitely an experience. When things happen, I would probably look back and think, it was so much easier back then, since I know from now on things would be harder. At least now, I know that I do have to make an effort. I shouldnt be lax. I shouldnt think that things would come to me. If I really want something, I would have to go after it but learn how to balance things in the process. You could say that I’m actually learning how to live.